He Painted It White

“What made you nervous about Adultery?”

September 19, 2014 by Paulo Coelho

Interview by Joy Horowitz for Goodreads

Paulo Coelho is a man of contradiction. The 67-year-old Brazilian author is an unparalleled success—known for his 1988 bestseller, The Alchemist, which is the most translated book in the world by a living author—yet he sees himself as a dreamer and a depressive. His parents committed the rebellious youth to an asylum three times, and as a lyricist whose songs were critical of his country’s military rule in the 1980s, he was imprisoned and tortured. Still, he remains a joyous man, married to the same woman for 35 years and deeply grateful for “surviving the tempests” of change that have permitted him to publish one novel every two years.

To date, he has written 30 books, including By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept, The Fifth Mountain, Veronika Decides to Die, The Devil and Miss Prym, The Valkyries, The Witch of Portobello, and Brida. In his new novel, Adultery, a journalist and wife and mother in her late thirties confronts the monotony and melancholy of her perfect life when she bumps into her high school boyfriend—and soon risks everything to rediscover her true self. Goodreads author and interviewer Joy Horowitz spoke with Coelho, who splits his time between Rio de Janeiro and a country house in the Pyrenees Mountains of France, about his new book, how his astonishing 21.4 million Facebook followers and 9.4 million Twitter followers played a hand in its genesis, and why choosing to live a safe and comfortable life may be the worst thing we can ever do.

GR: What made you nervous about writing this book?
PC: Nothing. Nothing.

GR: Really?
PC: The title. Yes, because people say, “Nobody will buy your book called Adultery and give it to his wife or husband or mother.” I said, “Sorry, that’s the title of the book, and it can’t change.” The reviews in Amazon are very mixed, many 5 stars and many 1 star, but that is part of life. I need to be honest to myself and write what I feel I should write

GR: I would think it would be the opposite. I would think you’d have huge sales for a book calledAdultery.
PC: [Laughs] So far the book is doing extremely well. It’s number one on the bestseller list in all countries it’s been released, including here in France. Then people tease me a little bit, “Oh, my wife didn’t want me to read this book.” It’s funny, because a lot of men are reading this book.

GR: Why did you decide to make your protagonist a woman?
PC: Because it is more difficult to accept adultery in a woman than in a man. I don’t know why, but people take for granted that men are unfaithful. But women in general never would do this terrible thing. So I said, OK, let’s hear the woman’s voice on the subject.

GR: I’m curious—why is her husband nameless?
PC: Many times you have books with a lot of names, and you start getting confused. I don’t think I gave a name to the wife of the politician. Oh, yes, yes, she has a name. I don’t remember the name, but she has a name.

GR: Do you like writing sex scenes?
PC: They’re not the main part of the book. But I love to write the sex scenes, because I like to write her inner moments or her moments of joy.

GR: Is that more of a male or female fantasy?
PC: It can be both to have this fantasy. We both have this fantasy.

GR: Do you think that depression and betrayal go hand in hand?
PC: Let me tell you how I decided to write this book. In the beginning I was thinking about discussing something that was relevant to people, because I have this huge social community on Facebook and Twitter and GooglePlus. Look at my page on Facebook and you will see. But I said, I’m so famous, so popular, why not discuss something that would be relevant? I thought that depression is the main issue of today. So I said, OK, I’m going to post something about depression, and I want you to interact with this. I’m not going to mention your name. Please send your experiences and opinions to this email. In 24 hours I got more than 1,000 answers. Out of the 1,000 answers, I heard about clinical depression. Many said, “I’m depressed because somebody betrayed me.” The problem is not the lack of pharmachemical components in your body. The problem is people feel betrayed, and life loses its meaning. So I said, OK, let’s talk about betrayal.
But it was overwhelming how people would answer me. And the extent of the written posts [was so great] that I thought I’d do a book. So I started going to forums—anonymously, of course—to check how people react and how people regret, one of the key issues. The first impulse is, “I’m going to get a divorce and I’m going to separate because I’ve been betrayed.” But then they regret. A one-night stand is a one-night stand. So little by little this book started as interactive posts. Then I sat down and wrote a book based on the experiences of people.

GR: The book is really a meditation on marriage and how it’s constantly in flux.
PC: I’ve been married for 35 years. I’m walking here in the countryside now with my wife by my side. And at the end of the day, she is a completely different person, physically and mentally, from the person I married 35 years ago. So am I. But people normally marry, and then they want that locked in time, so they think they’re not going to change. We’re going to change. Everybody’s going to change. So accepting that changes are part of our lives makes marriage a blessing and not a curse, because love is stronger than anything else.

GR: In the book you write, “Love isn’t just a feeling. It’s an art. And like any art, it takes not only inspiration but also a lot of work.” What do you mean?
PC: Giving space for the other to grow. Controlling jealousy that leads to nowhere. Basically, I think these issues are the key to surviving the tempests. Are you married?

GR: Yes, for 37 years.
PC: So you know what I’m talking about.

GR: One of the pivotal issues in the book is the protagonist’s recognition of her being alone—whether we love to avoid dealing with our own loneliness in the world.
PC: This is a sensation I have. So probably I was projecting myself because sometimes, regardless what you do, there are moments you have these things to give, to share, but people don’t understand. They say, “But you’re so successful. You have a lot. You have money. You have fame.” Sometimes this is not enough. Sharing is the basis of everything.

GR: The book is also about aging: “After a certain age, we put on a mask of confidence and certainty. In time, that mask gets stuck to our face and we can’t remove it.” Is that part of the monotony, the ritual, the boredom you write about relative to marriage?
PC: Probably the fear of monotony. You go to these parties, and everybody seems so happy. It just drives me crazy. I don’t go to parties, by the way. But when I’m forced to go and everybody is smiling and happy, I know it’s hypocrisy. When I go to these celebrity parties with all these actors and actresses, they’re always smiling to each other, but they really want to kill the other.

GR: That jealousy is an important motivating factor in the book.
PC: Absolutely. The consequence. A one-night stand is totally different from an adulterer’s relationship. People can understand or hide if you went to bed with someone else. But adultery lies in passion, and passion is something that’s harder to share. You really feel you are being cheated.

GR: Goodreads member Joyce Rigal writes, “In your book your protagonist is dissatisfied even though she has everything, because she isn’t living her truth. Have you experienced a moment in your life when you weren’t living your truth, and how did you find the clarity and courage to live it?”
PC: The answer is yes, and it was in 1986. I had everything. I had money. I had the same wife I have now. I was a successful composer and lyricist, but I was not happy. Then I decided to walk from France to Spain—the road to Santiago de Compostela, a site of Catholic pilgrimage. At the end of this spiritual journey, I said either I forget my dream of being a writer or I write my first book (Pilgrimage), which I did. But it’s not easy. You have to choose between being joyful (but not necessarily happy) and facing your challenges or trying to live a comfortable life and being safe. The second choice is the worst, because you can’t feel safe. Nothing is safe. A thunderbolt could hit me and I could die. So nobody can be safe: You don’t know when you’re going to die. So better to choose the agony and ecstasy of living a life that fulfills you.

GR: Goodreads member Holland says, “Thank you for writing your books. They have added magic to my life. How do you think dreams serve us in life? How do you use dreams in your books and why?”
PC: Dreams are what justify life. Dreamers are people who really changed this world. I believe in dreams. I followed mine. I paid a very high price at the given moment, but I do not grieve. I think a person without dreams is a tree without roots. So dreams are the language of God. Dreams, for me, are my daily bread.

GR: Goodreads member Anthony Karakai writes, “Today’s marketplace is dominated by romance and thrillers, and it appears that magical realism—outside of your novels—is not as strong as it was in the ’80s and ’90s. Where do you see the genre going?”
PC: It is true that we’ve lost this connection with magical realists because they [publishers] thought maybe this was not politically correct, that people would not read it. I’m only speaking for myself. This is the way for me to express myself. So the person who asked this question—he’s totally right. Magical realism is about not having evidence for everything. And at the end of the day this is the reality. Because emotions are much more powerful than what’s happening around you. You are guided by your emotions.

Kenal Pasti Satu Satu

Akta Dadah Berbahaya (Langkah-langkah Pencegahan Khas) 1985 atau dikenali sebagai DDA 1985 digubal pada tahun 1985 dengan tujuan untuk menangani jenayah dadah berbahaya.

DDA 1985 digubal bawah Perkara 149 Perlembagaan Persekutuan, iaitu kuasa yang membenarkan Parlimen membuat undang-undang tanpa perlu patuh kepada prinsip kebebasan asasi yang terkandung dalam Perkara 5,9,10 dan 13 demi menjaga keselamatan awam.

Menurut laporan Agensi Anti Dadah Kebangsaan, pada tahun 2013, seramai 813 orang telah ditahan di bawah DDA 1985.

Seksyen 1(3) DDA 1985 menyatakan akta ini memiliki tamat tempoh (sunset clause) iaitu setiap lima tahun sekali.

Bermula daripada tarikh akta ini diwartakan, ia perlu diperbaharui setiap lima tahun sekali. Seksyen 1(4) pula menyatakan Parlimen perlu memutuskan sama ada ingin meneruskan atau membiarkan akta ini terluput dengan sendirinya.

Jun 2015 akan menjadi tarikh luput bagi DDA 1985 setelah akta tersebut diperbaharui pada tahun 2010.

Oleh itu Suaram berharap kerajaan Malaysia dan ahli Parlimen dapat membuat penilaian yang sewajarnya bagi memastikan akta ini tidak lagi disambung hayat sekaligus berhenti mencabuli hak asasi manusia.

Mengapa DDA perlu dimansuh?

1. DDA 1985 cabul hak asasi manusia

Hak asasi nanusia merupakan tonggak penting dalam Perlembagaan Persekutuan. Hak-hak ini diperuntukkan dalam bahagian kebebasan asasi iaitu Perkara 5 hingga 13.

Penafian perkara-perkara ini menyebabkan individu yang ditangkap bawah DDA 1985 boleh ditahan tanpa dibicarakan.

Malah seseorang itu boleh ditangkap secara arbitrari tanpa waran dan tanpa diberitahu sebab-sebab tangkapan.

Setelah ditangkap, individu tersebut boleh ditahan sehingga 60 hari mengikut Seksyen 3(2) DDA 1985 tanpa perlu mendapatkan reman mahkamah terlebih dahulu.

Apa yang lebih penting ialah, individu yang ditahan bawah DDA 1985 akan hilang hak untuk mendapat pembelaan yang adil di mahkamah.

Seksyen 6 DDA 1985 memberi kuasa kepada menteri untuk mengeluarkan perintah tahanan atau perintah sekatan tanpa perlu orang yang ditahan dibicarakan di mahkamah.

Ini bermaksud, DDA 1985 telah mematikan fungsi mahkamah dan fungsi tersebut telah diambil alih oleh menteri.

Oleh itu, boleh dikatakan DDA 1985 telah menyebabkan seseorang itu dihukum tanpa dibuktikan bersalah oleh mahkamah.

Perkara seperti ini sepatutnya tidak boleh berlaku lagi dalam sebuah negara yang menjulang perlembangaan dan demokrasi.

2. DDA tak kurangkan kesalahan 

Sejak tahun 2008 sehingga 2013, statistik yang dikeluarkan oleh Agensi Anti Dadah Kebangsaan (AADK) menunjukkan bilangan yang ditangkap bawah kesalahan dadah berbahaya terus meningkat.

Pada tahun 2011, jumlah pesalah yang ditangkap bagi kesalahan Dadah Berbahaya adalah seramai 111, 719 orang.

Manakala jumlah tangkapan meningkat pada tahun 2012 menjadi 116, 740 orang. Pada tahun 2013, Jumlah tangkapan terus meningkat dengan menyaksikan seramai 129, 250 ditangkap.

Peningkatan secara berterusan ini menunjukkan DDA 1985 gagal menjadi mekanisme yang berkesan dalam menangani kesalahan dadah berbahaya di Malaysia.

3. Tiada transparensi cara siasatan polis 

Menurut peruntukkan bawah DDA 1985, seseorang yang ditangkap boleh ditahan selama 60 hari bagi tujuan siasatan.

Bagaimanapun, bentuk siasatan yang dijalankan oleh pihak Polis dalam tempoh ini masih tidak jelas.

Bentuk siasatan yang tidak jelas ini menimbulkan kerisauan tentang bagaimana sebenarnya operasi standard pihak polis dalam menjalankan siasatan.

Kerisauan ini timbul ekoran fakta-fakta yang pernah direkodkan oleh bekas tahanan Akta Keselamatan Dalam Negeri (ISA).

Seperti DDA 1985, ISA juga memberi kuasa kepada pihak polis untuk menahan seseorang selama 60 bagi tujuan siasatan.

Berdasarkan testimoni yang diperoleh daripada bekas tahanan ISA, dalam tempoh 60 hari tersebut terdapat dalam kalangan mereka yang diseksa oleh pihak polis bagi memaksa mereka membuat pengakuan.

Menurut laporan Malaysiakini bertarikh 18 Jun 2012 yang bertajuk “Nota Mengharukan dari Kamunting”, antara bentuk seksaan yang pernah dialami tahanan ISA termasuklah dibogelkan, dipukul beramai-ramai, kemaluan dicucuh api rokok dan seluruh badan dilumur dengan cili boh.

Oleh itu adalah dikhuatiri jika perkara yang sama berlaku terhadap tahanan DDA 1985 kerana bentuk siasatan Polis tidak pernah didedahkan kepada umum.

4. Undang-undang lain lebih komprehensif

Pihak Polis sering beralasan bahawa sukar untuk mendapatkan bukti untuk mensabitkan seseorang itu dengan jenayah dadah berbahaya kerana pesalah licik untuk menyelamatkan diri.

Oleh itu undang-undang tahan tanpa bicara perlu digunakan.

Namun alasan ini tidak wajar digunakan untuk merasionalkan pencabulan hak asasi kerana sudah menjadi tanggungjawab pihak polis untuk melakukan siasatan terperinci.

Apakah pihak polis cuba mengatakan institusi polis di Malaysia tidak mampu menjalankan siasatan walaupun sudah memiliki kelengkapan yang cukup baik?

Dalam masa yang sama, wujud undang-undang lain yang lebih komprehensif dalam menangani kesalahan dadah yang mengguna pakai Seksyen 117 Kanun Prosedur Jenayah.

Hal ini menyebabkan hak-hak orang yang ditahan akan sentiasa terjaga seperti hak untuk tidak ditahan melebihi tempoh reman 14 hari.

Apa yang lebih penting ialah, orang yang ditangkap di bawah undang-undang yang lain akan berpeluang untuk membela diri di Mahkamah.

Tuntutan

Berdasarkan justifikasi yang telah diberikan di atas, maka kami mengusulkan tuntutan berikut:

1. Mansuhkan DDA 

Kerajaan Malaysia perlu memansuhkan DDA 1985 dengan cara tidak membentangkan usul pelanjutan akta tersebut di Parlimen.

Dengan cara ini DDA 1985 akan secara automatik termansuh dengan sendirinya.

Sekiranya kerajaan tetap ingin membentang usul pelanjutan DDA 1985, maka kami menuntut seluruh ahli parlimen tidak bersetuju dengan usul tersebut.

2. Bebaskan tahanan DDA 

Semua tahanan DDA 1985 perlu dibebaskan dan disiasat menggunakan undang-undang yang lebih adil dan patuh hak asasi manusia.

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Selain Suara Rakyat Malaysia (Suaram), pendirian dalam artikel ini turut dikongsi sebelas lagi badan, iaitu: Kuala Lumpur & Selangor Chinese Assembly Hall Youth Section (KLSCAH Youth), Persatuan Komuniti Prihatin Selangor & KL, Lawyer For Liberty (LFL), Pertubuhan Ikram Malaysia (IKRAM), Lensa Anak Muda Malaysia (LENSA), Solidariti Anak Muda Malaysia (SAMM), Persatuan Kesedaran Komuniti Selangor (EMPOWER), Solidariti Mahasiswa Malaysia (SMM), Kelab Bangsar Utama (KBU), Jaringan Rakyat Tertindas (JERIT) dan Malaysia Youth and Student Democratic Movement (DEMA).

 

Kemelut Pimpinan

The perfect leader

September 18, 2014 

A friend sends me a questionnaire in which he presents the profile of three world leaders who lived in the same period of history, and asks if it is possible to choose the best one using the following data:

Candidate A was associated with witch doctors and often consulted astrologists. He had two mistresses. His wife was a Lesbian. He smoked a lot. He drank eight to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B never managed to hold down a job because of his arrogance. He slept the whole morning. He used opium at school, and was always considered a bad student. He drank a glass of brandy every morning.

Candidate C was decorated a hero. A vegetarian, he did not smoke. His discipline was exemplary. He occasionally drank a beer. He stayed with the same woman during his moments of glory and defeat.

And what was the answer?

A] Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

B] Winston Churchill.

C] Adolf Hitler.

So what, then, is leadership? The encyclopedia defines it as an individual’s capacity to motivate others to seek the same objective. The bookstores are full of texts on this theme, and the leaders are normally portrayed in brilliant colors, with enviable qualities and supreme ideals. The leader is to society as the “master” is to spirituality.

This, however, is not absolutely true (in either case). Our big problem, especially in a world that is growing more and more fundamentalist, is not allowing people in prominent positions to commit human mistakes.

We are always in search of the perfect ruler. We are always looking for a pastor to guide and help us find our way. The truth is that the great revolutions and the progress made by humanity were brought about by people just like us – the only difference being that they had the courage to make a key decision at a crucial moment.

A long time ago, in my unconscious, I changed the word “leader” for the expression “warrior of light”. What is a warrior of light? Warriors of light keep the spark in their eyes. They are in the world, are part of other people’s lives, and began their journey without a rucksack and sandals. They are often cowards. They don’t always act right.

Warriors of light suffer over useless things, have some petty attitudes, and at times feel they are incapable of growing. They frequently believe they are unworthy of any blessing or miracle.

Warriors of light are not always sure what they are doing here. Often they stay up all night thinking that their lives have no meaning.

Every warrior of light has felt the fear of joining in battle. Every warrior of light has once lost faith in the future. Every warrior of light has once trodden a path that was not his. Every warrior of light has once felt that he was not a warrior of light. Every warrior of light has once failed in his spiritual obligations.

That is what makes him a warrior of light; because he has been through all this and has not lost the hope of becoming better than he was.

That is why they are warriors of light. Because they make mistakes. Because they wonder. Because they look for a reason – and they will certainly find one.

PositiveVibes

My 25 important points

September 7... poksir

1. When you want something, the whole universe conspires to make it happen.
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

2. Detach from all things and you will be free.
“When I had nothing to lose, I had everything.”

3. We are all here for a purpose.
“No matter what he does, every person on earth plays a central role in the history of the world. And normally he doesn’t know it.”
“Everybody has a creative potential and from the moment you can express this creative potential, you can start changing the world.”

4. The only thing standing between you and your dream are your fears.
“Don’t give in to your fears. If you do, you won’t be able to talk to your heart.”
“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

5. Mistakes are part of life.
“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”

6. Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies meet.
“Really important meetings are planned by the souls long before the bodies see each other. Generally speaking, these meetings occur when we reach a limit, when we need to die and be reborn emotionally. These meetings are waiting for us, but more often than not, we avoid them happening. If we are desperate, though, if we have nothing to lose, or if we are full of enthusiasm for life, then the unknown reveals itself, and our universe changes direction.”

7. Every experience, either good or bad, comes with a lesson.
“There are moments when troubles enter our lives and we can do nothing to avoid them. But they are there for a reason. Only when we have overcome them will we understand why they were there.”

8. Do not seek for love outside of you.
“Love is not to be found in someone else but in ourselves; we simply awaken it. But in order to do that, we need the other person.”

9. When you change, the whole world changes with you.
“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too.”

10. No reason is needed for loving.
“One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving.”

11. Mind your own business.
“Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”

12. When someone leaves, it’s because someone else is about to arrive.
“No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it.”

13. Love is an untamed force.
“When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”

14. Wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.
“Remember that wherever your heart is, there you will find your treasure.”

15. Judge not.
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”

16. Children have valuable lessons to teach you.
“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”

17. Appreciate the contrast of life.
“Never be ashamed,’ he said. ‘Accept what life offers you and try to drink from every cup. All wines should be tasted; some should only be sipped, but with others, drink the whole bottle.’ ‘How will I know which is which?’ ‘By the taste. You can only know a good wine if you have first tasted a bad one.”

18. Nobody’s responsible for how you feel or don’t feel.
“In love, no one can harm anyone else; we are each responsible for our own feelings and cannot blame someone else for what we feel.”

19. Your beliefs shape you and make you who you are.
“You are what you believe yourself to be.”

20. Let go of the need to explain yourself.
“Don’t explain. Your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you.”

21. Love changes everything.
“It is not time that changes man nor knowledge the only thing that can change someone’s mind is love.”

22. Don’t mistake elegance with superficiality.
“Elegance is usually confused with superficiality, fashion, lack of depth. This is a serious mistake: human beings need to have elegance in their actions and in their posture because this word is synonymous with good taste, amiability, equilibrium and harmony.”

23. When you do work from your soul, the critics won’t hurt you.
“I write from my soul. This is the reason that critics don’t hurt me, because it is me. If it was not me, if I was pretending to be someone else, then this could unbalance my world, but I know who I am.”

24. Each day brings a miracle of its own.
“You can become blind by seeing each day as a similar one. Each day is a different one, each day brings a miracle of its own. It’s just a matter of paying attention to this miracle.”

25. Embrace your authenticity
“You are someone who is different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that in my view is a serious illness. God chose you to be different. Why are you disappointing God with this kind of attitude?”
“You must be the person you have never had the courage to be. Gradually, you will discover that you are that person, but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent.”
“If you want to be successful, you must respect one rule – Never lie to yourself.”